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If Brand Dalvahni, alpha male demon hunter, kept a diary . . .
Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Day One Mission Earth:

Dear Diary,

Today I saved a human female from certain death at the hands of a demon.

I am disquieted by my actions. I am Dalvahni, an immortal demon hunter. ’Tis our sole purpose to hunt down and return rogue demons to The Pit, thus saving the universe and those weaker than ourselves from degradation and destruction at the hands of the djegrali.

Saving the human female from the demon was a violation of the Dalvahni Creed. I saved her nonetheless—I could not seem to stop myself.

The female puzzles me in many ways. Perhaps it is this modern clime, but she uses terms and phrases that my Dalvahni translator cannot decipher. She seems to have no concept of warriors or the sense of dignity and decorum they should be afforded. She also seems more concerned about the reaction of her matriarchal unit than the danger posed by the djegrali.

She is the most frustrating creature I have ever met. She does not seem to understand that she is in danger.

Having saved her, I will remain and guard her from harm. The demon that marked her will return.

I will be waiting.

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Recipe for a Dalvahni Demon Hunter
Saturday, October 1st, 2011
  • Start with approximately 225 pounds of prime Dalvahni male, extremely fresh.*
  • Add four to five gallons of uh uh uh.
  • Throw in several quarts of pure, undiluted yummy. **
  • Add a bushel each of unsurpassed fighting skills and tracking ability.
  • Combine with insatiable lust and zest of virility.
  • Stir in a large dollop of stoicism and dispassion.
  • Toss in a generous amount of loyalty and a couple of heaping tablespoons of denial.
  • Omit the sense of humor, but be sure and sprinkle in a pound of literalism.
  • Blend with true love.
  • Fold ingredients lightly together. Stir vigorously for best results. Best served hot.

*Note: Dalvahni males are large in size (in excess of six feet in height), lean and muscular animals. Do not substitute generic or ordinary human males or recipe will not rise.
** Do not substitute imitation flavoring.
*** Warning: Demon hunters are habit forming and slippery when wet.